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When Tara Met Blog
Thursday, January 19, 2006
The best laid plans, who should plan a date?
I have been polling a few of my girlfriends to ask how they feel about having to plan first dates instead of the guys doing it.

You know the situation, you get asked out on a date and are pretty excited about the possibilities, and then he turns to you and says, "so what do you want to do?"

Hint: Girls are more likely to go on a date when propositioned with an actual offer IE "Hey, I was wondering if you'd like to go to __ with me. (no, that fill in the blank did not mean 'bed' lol ;)

It was unanimous among those that I asked, it is definitely considered a turn off when women are forced to plan a first date, not that they would turn down the date because of this, but most felt that it's not considered as exciting or dazzling when you know each stop that you're going to make. Granted, it's nice not going somewhere that you don't want to and having control in that sense, but the surprise element is often considered a plus on dates as long as the surprise isn't that he's married or some shocker like that. I know I'd rather my date take some initiative and me be out of my element, like say at a tractor pull, then actually having to plan the date for him.

Several times I've picked the restaurant and bars because the guys I were seeing were not familiar with the city since they lived in NJ or CT and that's understandable, but those dates definitely weren't as fun when I was continually coming up with suggestions on where to go and what to do. One of my girlfriends suggested that it emasculates the guy in their eyes because it's like they have to lead them around on a leash by taking charge of the date like that.

Don't get me wrong, presenting your date with a list of options is not a bad move and neither is asking if there are any types of food they'd prefer, but other than that make some plans, show that you gave some thought into the date and had been thinking about it ahead of time. Work a little.

I'm not saying there shouldn't be spontaneity and that you have to plan everything, because yes, then that's no fun either.

Two really nice first dates that I had consisted on agreeing to go explore a certain place (zoo, park, fair) or area of the city and then deciding on a whim together where to eat and what to do. So although not everything was planned the guy at least decided on an activity and got the ball rolling and it's fun discovering likes and dislikes as you choose restaurants and explore new surroundings.

Link: The best blonde joke ever.

Posted by Tara at 6:52 AM PST
Updated: Sunday, January 22, 2006 12:27 PM PST

Thursday, January 19, 2006 - 8:55 AM PST

Name: Master Foley
Home Page:

thanks for those pointers
since I'm so horrible at be decisive

Thursday, January 19, 2006 - 9:55 AM PST

Name: Drea

I totally agree. I've been married almost 12 years, and it's still somewhat annoying when I do all the planning. Spontenaity and surprise are good things. :)

Thursday, January 19, 2006 - 1:14 PM PST

Name: Karen

Planniing the date can be a real buzz kill. I can understand maybe if I was the one asking, but please, don't be lazy and make me plan everything. Oh, and I hate the dreaded, "Whatever you want to do."

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