Friday, May 5, 2006 - 7:13 PM PDT
Beware this reply maybe long...
Alright home now from having a wonderful sit down with the Tara herself... and to get straight to the matter at hand... Boyfriend/Girlfriend or Friend...
During the past 3-4 years~ even though Tara says more like 2, which seems right, but than again my sense of time is horrible... Anyways, I've been with this person for a while, we've been living together for a while as well, for about 2 years or 3 years or what ever... but its been a long time.
What I do find interesting is this Thread that Tara made in her blog, because... and here is the kicker, also refers me as "her friend" at times, even her Mother calls me her daughter's "Friend" which I find funny, cause we've been together for a while, went to her parents house and even had weeks and weekend vacation at her lake house. Last summer/fall we even went on a cruise up Canada with her entire family. So again, the word "Friend" I assume comes into play with yes, the Age, she's 30, so as you said before, saying "Boyfriend" sounds childish as if oneself is still in highschool. I think thats where the invisible line is sorta draw. When someone reaches a certain age in their life, they are not looking for a boyfriend... they are looking for someone that is MORE than just a boyfriend/girlfriend, hence the dilemma. At what time(either time in relationship or time in their life) does one go about considering that someone to be their boyfriend or girlfriend?
I've also have an example of a co-worker of mine. She's been seeing this person for about 6 years and I believe she said that they didn't or at least from her perspective view themselves as boyfriend or girlfriend till they were like in their second year or so after seeing each other.
*****Lets Start from middleschool and work our way up*****
We've all either "Dated" or seen a type of relationship while we were going through school... I've started with middle school because that's when I believe that most people started "Dating" People were boyfriend and girlfriend after the First Day they asked someone to go see a movie or go to the Ice Skating. W/E the event maybe it happens quick and it fades just as quickly.
As we venture out into Highschool, we develope a better sense of Self but yet affected buy either our peers/parents or what ever the reason maybe or personal choice, our relationship as just as brief for some but for others remains longer. But again, The infamous lable of "Boyfriend or Girlfriend" is tossed in there again right away.
As we get out of highschool>> for some, we enter into College, what I like to remember someone saying about College was>> College = an extension of adolescence. We've grown, mature graduate, but our mental maturity for some however reverts back to highschool, >> the old saying, one step foward, two steps back. Maybe its all the liquor that gets consume and the overwhelming feeling that OMG sooo many people!
Ok I apologize, going off on a tangent from the question at hand. Let me explain you my lable...
Age Group of 21-25 The word boyfriend girlfriend is applied after you have been with that particular person for over four months and no one else. Does not mean you've met that person four months ago, but when you actually stoped seeing other people, reserve your time to spend with that specific individual. Usually go out to including but not limited to: Bars, movies and maybe the occasional wine and dine.
Age Group 26+ I feel that most people may start to hear a little voice in their head... usually saying... hmmm, what time is it... [8:00pm]... hmmm what day is this... [Friday/Saturday Night] hmmm... how old am I... 35 ... hmmm ... Dangit... I'm bored... WTF!!! *Mental Scream*
But of course we deal with it... we usually keep it bottled inside, and maybe talk about it with our other girlfriends or guyfriends about it... alittle chat, but nothing that is really from the heart or the soul. Well at least this is an example of these lonley other Co-Workers that are female age range from 26-35ish. But at that age, they Find things to keep them busy and maybe not have to face what they are thinking of by keeping their body busy and moving about with other things.
Common sense>> The fear of being alone forever and ever seems to be something that crosses everyone's thouught. From this, each person can takes it differently, either take and learn or nope, haven't learned yet. This is important to the boyfriend girlfriend issue because Why, lable someone as my boyfriend, when I'm in my 30s and he or she is still out seeing outer people... Or, I've only been seeing this person for a month... how can anyone really know someone in one month? or two? I would personally consider this person my "Friend" still, I'm not sure, I like the person, but where is this going? I think the word "Boyfriend" or "Girlfriend" doesnt really exist at this time. The lable boyfriend and girlfriends may apply after maybe a year of just exclusively seeing each other.
To conclude, boyfriend/girlfriend doesn't exist pass a certain point, you become a "friend" until your actually engaged to that person than you have your official title, Fiance... Something more solid, more than just a small title of boyfriend and girlfriend. But than again, it all varies with each individual. Some people like the lable of boyfriend and girlfriend, the title itself is childish I agree with the posted above, but some people like the feeling of falling head over heels about someone. Making them feel young again. So yeah... well, guess that doesn't really help much with the Thread... but hey, typeing and thinking, typing and thinking...