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When Tara Met Blog
Thursday, January 6, 2005
The girl upstairs wears ski boots!
At least it sounds like she does and she also enjoys rearranging furniture on her spare time, which she seems to have plenty of. Another hobby of hers is to invite lots of friends over, talk in the hallways and carry an antique bicycle up and down the stairs while laughing.

My sleuthing has uncovered that she's twenty-something like me, but I think she's on the older part of the spectrum. She definitely does not have a 9 to 5 job, given the fact that she never wakes up before 9 a.m. I think she might work somewhere in the fashion or music industry, because her outfits are very tutu-like, not corporate, and she constantly plays instruments and her radio at all hours. She also gets fashion magazines that always seem to end up in my mailbox. She could also be a trust fund baby, because her apartment is newly renovated and packed with high end technology and furniture and I never see her doing any real work of any sort. She seems to use the apartment as a place to party and crash. Luckily for me, I think she has a boyfriend and spends most of her time at his place.

Apparently she doesn't think it's rude to play her electric guitar or keyboard at 1:20 in the morning on a weekday, it's not like anyone in our building has to get up early for work or anything. Urghh, I can't imagine being so inconsiderate to my neighbors.

The base from her sound system vibrates my walls and can be heard even through my ear plugs. I think I'd die laughing if "These Boots Are Made For Walking" ever played. I've only banged on the ceiling twice, when it was past 1 a.m. and the female dog had the nerve to pound back with her ski boot laden feet. I feel like I'm back in a college dorm room.

Last night she kept time with the music by tapping her foot on the floor. I was even able to guess a few of the songs from the tapping beat. Keep in mind, when I'm sleeping my head is only a foot below the cieling.

When I do finally end up falling asleep I dream of schemes for REVENGE! They are as followed:

1. The instant gratification plan: When leaving the building in the morning on my way to work, usually around 8ish, I could ring her buzzer, waking her up since she is never up before 10 a.m., and then quickly walk to the subway station.

2. The It's mine I keep it now plan: The next time I get her mail, I will not go upstairs and put it on her door mat. As the SNL sketch goes, "It's mine, I keep it now!"

3. The I could go to jail plan: Climb up the fire escape that we both share with a pair of scissors, hope her window is open, sneak in and cut the strings of her guitar.

4. The if I had a lot of money plan: While ski boot girl is out of her apartment, pay a carpet company to lay carpet all throughout her place to act as a sound buffer, even in her kitchen. I'd order white carpet to go with her sterile hospital-white walls that are so bright they hurt my eyes whenever she opens the door. But then again if I had enough extra money to lay down carpet in her place, I could simply use the money to move elsewhere, on the top floor with nobody above me. My luck though, the roof would also be used as some rich guys helicopter pad.

5. The Apartment Building Secret Santa Plan:
I buy a one size fits all slippers and leave them at her door like a little apartment building gift exchange. Then she can start wearing the slippers when stomping around her apartment, since for some reason she needs to have shoes on at all times at all hours. She even wears heels after midnight when just chilling around her apartment. I just don't get it, the first thing I do when I come home is to ditch my heels and pad around barefoot or with socks.

Note: I have not acted on any of these plans and no I'm not a psycho, but a couple more sleepless nights and I could come close to being one...

Posted by Tara at 9:01 PM PST
Updated: Wednesday, March 9, 2005 8:09 AM PST

Thursday, January 6, 2005 - 10:12 AM PST

Name: Felicity
Home Page: http://felicitysfutility.blogspot.com

I sympathize with you entirely. My neighbors are notorious for their mid-week music bashes (which include everything from John Denver and Mozart to Metallica and Andrew Lloyd Weber). Most annoying however is the weekly "mating session" that happens against the wall right next to my head like clockwork at 1:30 am every Sunday morning. I've taken up bass guitar in hopes of one day being able to crank up my amp and provide a funky porn bass line as a soundtrack to their amorous escapades.

Thursday, January 6, 2005 - 3:10 PM PST

Name: Travis
Home Page: http://rearwindowethics.blogspot.com

Fascinating! I'm fairly sure you must be talking about someone in the extended family of my own upstairs neighbor. He enjoys stomping and crashing around in his apartment in our small, very old Boston apartment.

He plays "Dance Dance Revolution" and the combination of the blasting techno and his constant thuds on the floor leaves my ears buzzing. He has parties at all hour of the night, and I can make out exactly what songs he listens to because they go right through the floor and into my apartment.

But the worst, the very worst thing he does: Plays the Sarah McLachlan song "Adia" on repeat for two hours at a time while playing along on a crappy electronic keyboard and singing in out of tune harmonies with the music. It is honestly one of the worst things I've ever heard, and it happens at least once a week. (And I used to like Sarah McLachlan!)

Thursday, January 6, 2005 - 3:25 PM PST

Name: pia
Home Page: http://courtingdestiny.com

You have working comments! That's the good news, because i always want to comment on your posts.

The bad news is that I've been thinking about writing a post called "the man upstairs." Really. He's the building drunk and falls constantly, when he's not puking his brains out (and my building is very sound proofed.)

Now I have to change the title!

Thursday, January 6, 2005 - 6:04 PM PST

Name: Charone
Home Page: http://screwyou.thezeroboss.com

Please understand, I say this with love. How about you stop being such a chicken and go have a heart to heart with the bitch. Tell her that her noise, especially during the wee hours, is a nuisance. Ask her if she would mind turning it down a few notches. If she's rude to you, then you officially have my permission to hate her. If the noise continues, lodge a complaint with the management.

Thursday, January 6, 2005 - 8:24 PM PST

Name: Tara

Thanks Charone, I've actually spoken to her twice about the noise, she is always apologetic and seemingly remorseful but the minute I head downstairs the music goes right back on. I don't get it.

Sorry a few of you have similar situations.
thanks for stopping by and sharing,
~Tara

Sunday, January 9, 2005 - 6:29 PM PST

Name: supine
Home Page: http://www.supinefever.com

Oh, I totally know what you are going through. I remember a particular apartment I had - the walls and ceilings were apparently made of paper mache and the ladies upstairs woke me up every Saturday night/Sunday morning at 4am when they got in from clubbing.

They would stomp up the stairs and turn on some post-party music, a little techno or house with the volume set to 11. Talking to them did nothing to help in my situation either, and I used to lie in bed seething and shaking my fists at the ceiling. Bitches! Har har.

Monday, January 10, 2005 - 7:35 PM PST

Name: Calista

TARA! I'm going to start caling you Mr. Heckles! :) hope you're doing well

Wednesday, March 9, 2005 - 8:03 AM PST

Name: Ella
Home Page: http://melinkie.blogspot.com

Aaargghh! I don't know how you stand it. I would implement ALL the suggestions on the Revenge Plan. All at the same time. But then sleep is such a rare commodity for me these days I wouldn't let ANYTHING come between me and a bit of nightime peace. Hope she takes those heels off soon!

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